Poisonous spiders are set to descend on the UK this Bank Holiday weekend with temperatures in regions of Britain predicted to be higher than in Mexico.
The intense heatwave has caused false widow spiders to reproduce and multiply across the British Isles.
They’re related to the black widow, the world’s most poisonous species, and are one of 12 spiders in the United Kingdom to have bitten humans.
According to the Natural History Museum, the false widows aren’t especially venomous and being bitten by one can feel like a wasp sting. However, there’ve been occasional instances where they’ve caused a severe sting and triggered an allergic reaction in humans.
The news comes after the Met Office predicted an approaching week of climbing and plunging temperatures.
The weekend is predicted to be warm across the United Kingdom with parts of the UK reaching a low 30C, leading to the possibility of another heatwave, and the warm temperature will enable false widows to increase as their hibernation period concludes.
False widows were first documented in the United Kingdom in the 1870s but reproduced in the 1980s in numerous southern counties.
According to the Natural History Museum, the species first established itself in Dorset, Hampshire and Devon, but can now be seen in Scotland.
Its name comes from the Latin name steatoda nobilis and can be as big as a 50p coin.
They have lustrous, black, bulbous bodies and frequently have sinister markings resembling skulls on their abdomens.
Nine schools were forced to close in London after infestations in 2018, and former Wrexham footballer James Gray was rushed to hospital after a false widow bit him in 2016.
In April 2017, the mother of five Gemma Hunter, 41, of Rossendale, Lancs, was told she could lose her foot after she was bitten by a false widow.
The attack left her with a 3cm deep cavity from the spider’s fangs, which became infected with cellulitis.
Ms Hunter said that she’d seen the spider before but didn’t think anything of it, and saw it on the top of her foot, and that it looked like a garden spider, and that it had a pattern on it and its two front legs were longer than the rest.
She said that she just lightly shook her foot, but it didn’t come off so she reached to brush it off with her left hand, which is when doctors believe that it bit her because she’d likely disturbed it, and it bit her twice in a vein.
However, a newspaper outlet said that deadly spiders were set to descend on the UK this Bank Holiday, so that’s okay, it’s just this weekend we have to worry about because I didn’t realise spiders knew about public bank holidays and a calendar.
Perhaps spiders are also busy making ends meet during the weekdays in this cost-of-living crisis, and they only have free time to bite when they’re off work. Perhaps they have access to the web, but then, clearly, COVID knew what time of the day it was. Well, then spiders must know about Bank Holidays. Intelligent little critters, aren’t they?
Perhaps we should all insist that a lockdown is executed until all spiders in the world are thoroughly eradicated, along with all viruses, fungi, criminals, human beings, and most of all politicians.
Maybe the spiders all had a conference and decided to raid our homes on the Bank Holiday, they’re extremely punctual you know. I hope they’re all being paid time and a half, and if they’re coming for the Bank Holiday, they’d better not use the M25 and Dartford Crossing, they’ll never make it in time.
THE MONTHLY MOSQUITO 