A sexuality expert has said that parents should ask their babies for consent before changing their nappies in order to set up a culture of permission from birth.
Deanne Carson, who described herself on Twitter as a sexuality educator, speaker and author, made the assertion while talking on ABC. She said she works with children from three years old on issues surrounding consent, but added that parents are advised to introduce ideas much earlier.
Deanne acknowledged that babies are unable to give an answer, but said it’s important to use eye contact to teach them their response matters, and on a segment aired on consent law, she said that they work with children from three years old and that they work with parents from birth.
The reporter appeared bewildered and asked ‘From birth?’. The reply was yes and that it was just about how to set up a culture of consent in their homes and that a parent would say that they were going to change their nappy now and was it okay.
Deanne replied that of course, a baby wasn’t going to reply, but that if you left it a while, and waited for their body language and waited for the baby to make eye contact, then the parent was letting the child know that their response matters.
Numerous viewers seemed baffled by her suggestion with Twitter users saying that surely they weren’t hearing this right and that they were shocked, and one wrote: “If this doesn’t qualify for Lefty Lunacy…”
Deanne claims that when they make eye contact then you were letting your child know that it’s their response that matters. How on earth would a baby of that age understand that its response matters?
And what if the baby can’t give eye contact, for instance, if they’re Autistic or have some other condition, is one supposed to just leave their baby in a soiled nappy?
Honestly, the world has gone completely bonkers.
Clearly, this person has never had to change a toddler who’s running away, screaming no because they don’t want their playtime interrupted for such an insignificant thing as a nappy change.
Consent doesn’t come into it when it’s for the health and well-being of that child, and presenting a choice by asking a question that has a predetermined outcome could do more damage to that child’s understanding of consent when growing up.
Things could also lead to a more serious problem if a child responds wrong, or it could be that the child will learn to respond how they believe you want them to answer, which could lead to murky waters around sexual consent as teenagers or adults.
The baby has pooped for goodness sake, it stinks, it’s uncomfortable and the baby is screaming its head off. Well, the parent has a choice, either remove the nappy and put on a clean one or just leave the poor child there screaming its head off, while in the meantime the baby’s skin is becoming sore. It’s screaming because it’s uncomfortable. It actually doesn’t care whether it gives you permission or not – let’s hope this woman doesn’t go into schools, I’d dread to think what she’d be telling those poor children, and this woman should really be leaving those mushrooms alone, either that or she needs serious medical help.
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