The world of politics, diplomacy and celebrity has responded with a fusion of amusement and horror when it comes to Boris Johnson, and his track record when it comes to interacting with other cultures is patchy, to say the least, and politicians throughout the world will no doubt be fascinated by the possibility of working with a man who once wrote a poem about the Turkish president having sex with a goat.
And in the US, the official response was one of carefully suppressed hilarity, but then just looking at Boris Johnson you struggle to keep a straight face, with his Mr Bean parody that’s unquestionably put him on the map, and what are the facts behind this slapstick laden man?
Boris Johnson is sheer slapstick, and I’m sure a complete delight to many of his disciples, but not everybody takes this opinion of him with his clumsy antics. He not only expresses himself visually but verbally as well, and when I think of Boris Johnson’s character, the picture I always get is of Mr Bean, and it’s only a matter of time before the hapless Boris Johnson acts up once again.
Boris Johnson is a slow-witted, but generally amiable buffoon, and he often seems oblivious to the basic aspects of the way the world works which makes him funny and often ridiculous, with his complete disregard for others.
Boris Johnson is frequently depicted as a buffoon, offensive and sometimes pretty simple, and he doesn’t show much interest for his partners or spouses, and I could quite imagine him standing in front of the Queen and inadvertently headbutting her.
Boris Johnson is an irritation and a menace. He’s hopeless, awkward, poorly dressed, and a blathering nincompoop who appears to be totally unaware of anyone and everything around him, but he’s every clever man’s stupid invention, and he’s unmistakably British, and often others are enraged by his bizarre character, but he’s become a genuinely iconic figure.
Of course, we seem to have this British tradition of self-mockery, but today when our country is a declining power, we no longer laugh from a position of strength, but from one of cringing, cowering self-hatred.
Boris Johnson may appear to be a plonker but don’t disparage his intelligence, because he’s certainly making a clean breast of things…
And under that Benny from Crossroads hat is a really intelligent person. Educated at Eton and Balliol College, Oxford, but as Boris Johnson as the favourite to be Prime Minister by the end of the summer, Boris Johnson has waited years to win the iron throne in our parliamentary version of Game of Thrones, but just as he appears poised to win the prize, there’s every possibility he will keep it for only a brief time.
To win the leadership of the Tory Party, Boris Johnson will seemingly make an assortment of promises that could leave him no option but to fall out of the EU with no deal, and he may allege that he can negotiate a better deal than Theresa May could, and he may argue that, if we take the EU to the brink, but it will crack.
He may promise there’s no way he’ll delay Brexit yet again except if it’s as part of a negotiated no deal. He may tell us there’s nothing to fear from a no deal, but it will just be a short sharp shock before we soar to our doom.
But the notion that he can negotiate a better deal is fantasy, and the only exit deal on offer is the one Theresa May agreed. The EU won’t crack because we need it more than it needs us, and the concept of a “negotiated” no deal is a unicorn.
The EU will only agree to ease our departure from the club if we adhere to the promises Theresa May made, including the notorious “backstop” intended to keep the Irish border open, and there’s a lot to fear from no deal.
Boris Johnson is not stupid. He knows this. But he may get fooled by his own discourse with the result that we crash out anyhow.
After all, if nothing improves by October 31, that’s precisely what will happen. And then what?
In the ensuing turmoil, the government, which doesn’t have a majority would fall and Jeremy Corbyn would probably enter Downing Street, at least if he comes off the fence and backs a People’s Vote unambiguously, but for Boris Johnson, that would be an embarrassing end to a premiership that was cruel, brutish and brief.
So how can he elude this outcome? Well, one possibility would be to call a general election before the end of October in the hope of thrashing Jeremy Corbyn’s backside and winning a majority which will be large enough to enable him to ride out the storm that will be unleashed if we crash out.
But this hope seems rather forlorn. Sure, Boris Johnson is an exceptional campaigner, but the Tories are tearing themselves to pieces over Brexit and Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party is rising in the polls.
Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage could split the Brexit vote and allow Jeremy Corbyn to seize the iron throne, but in the latest analysis published implies that the Tories would get fewer MPs and Boris Johnson himself would lose his seat.
He might be able to circumvent this fate by cutting a deal with Nigel Farage so they didn’t compete in an election, and such a fiendish pact might save his skin, but Nigel Farage would drive a hard bargain, and it might not even work.
Sensible Tories would leave the party, splitting it irretrievably, and even if the ploy worked, we would still crash out of the EU with no deal, something that Boris Johnson seemingly doesn’t want in his heart of hearts – remember how shell-shocked he looked on the morning after the referendum?
But there’s one more option, call a new referendum. The choice would probably be between leaving the EU with no deal and staying in. Boris Johnson would campaign to crash out, so would Nigel Farage.
But there wouldn’t be any need for an electoral pact between the Tories and the Brexit Party because there wouldn’t be an election.
Boris Johnson might believe he’d win such a vote and that if he did, he would have the people’s blessing for crashing out, and if he lost, he’d presumably have to give up the iron throne, but, hey ho, it would take six months to organise and hold a referendum so his reign wouldn’t be miserably brief.
What’s more, if he kicked the can, who knows what might happen? After all, Theresa May managed to cling onto power for longer than most people anticipated by endlessly playing for time, but as Boris Johnson considers his next moves, he might just decide that his least damaging option is the People’s Vote, and if he does, we’d have to beat him soundly because we need to gear up for that probability now.