In 2015 a new matchmaking site connecting straight women with gay male best friends was being rolled out, and it was asked if this was a joke, no joke it was real. The Every Girl Needs A Gay matchmaking site was the real deal, and it had a forum called the Rainbow Room, and a post on the matchmaking site claimed that new research from the journal Evolutionary Psychology suggested that what creates a special bond between gay men and straight women was their unique ability to provide clear-headed counsel regarding romantic relationships.
Do I believe it’s a great idea, I think it’s a fabulous idea because there are many women out there that would love to have a man as a friend, but most heterosexual men can’t do that with a woman because they’re always thinking about their penis.
Do you remember “When Harry Met Sally”:
“Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends. Sally Albright: Why not? Harry Burns: What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. Sally Albright: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved. Harry Burns: No you don’t. Sally Albright: Yes I do. Harry Burns: No you don’t. Sally Albright: Yes I do. Harry Burns: You only think you do. Sally Albright: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge? Harry Burns: No, what I’m saying is they all WANT to have sex with you. Sally Albright: They do not. Harry Burns: Do too. Sally Albright: They do not. Harry Burns: Do too. Sally Albright: How do you know? Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her. Sally Albright: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive? Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail ’em too. Sally Albright: What if THEY don’t want to have sex with YOU? Harry Burns: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story. Sally Albright: Well, I guess we’re not going to be friends then. Harry Burns: I guess not. Sally Albright: That’s too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.”
Gender is essentially a social construction, and there are things in life that just naturally go together, whether it’s cake and frosting, or dogs and tennis balls, these things just spontaneously fit together because we’ve been socially constructed to accept that like gender. But over the years I’ve come to learn several things, and the most significant thing in a girls life is that she needs a best friend, and that friend can come in a diversity of shapes, colour and gender, but regardless, there’s only one out there for every lonely girl.
They say that a dog is a man’s best friend, so why can’t gays be strictly reserved for the woman as a friend? After all, they give the best advice on clothes, and they’ll always tell you the truth. And girls when you want to galavant around overpriced clothing stores and try everything on in the fitting room, when you know you’re not going to buy a damn thing, you know that your gay best friend will sit on the couch while you try everything on in the store and still laugh and joke about it. Gay men have a real affection for bubbly retorts and the overall wellbeing of their ladies, and diamonds might be forever, but it turns out that a gay boy is truly a girl’s best friend, and your gay man will truly make you feel like a princess, as they inspire you to buy clothes, and tell you that you look perfect, while holding your bags more elegantly than you do.
Not only that but a trusted gay best friend can help to neutralise the frustration of navigating a world of backbiting girls and moronic boys, and of course, they sympathise with a girls raging, mood-swinging hormones as well, even though they don’t get them themselves. Gay men like us, girls, way more than they let on, they’re actually kind of envious of you. Not because we get all the great fashion, their envy comes from the fact that our feminine energy has a way of making the male species become putty in our hands. Of course, gay men can do that too, but just not as well as we can, and they watch us lots because they’re dying to learn all of our know-how for manipulating guys into doing anything they want, but of course, manipulation shouldn’t be something we’re proud of unless it means manipulating a more favourable deal on a pair of shoes.
Now, as for loving ourselves, we all go to the same school, the school of the Perpetual Inferiority Complex. Where you slink into school and sit in the back of the class, immersed in your own thoughts because you think you’re not good enough, well, your gay friend is sitting there right there with you because they also participate in the belief that they’re not good enough from time to time, the only thing is, as a gay best friend, they will make sure you feel good enough just as you are.
And if your parents haven’t taught you that, then shame on them. The point is that your gay best friend can relate to your insecurity, and they’re the ones that will hold up the mirror that reminds you how fabulous you are, and talking about what we’ve got, we shouldn’t forget that we have the most amazing gifts and we should showcase them proudly to the world. Gay men and gay culture tends to have a reputation of being suggestive, sexually active and over the top, which is really forcing stereotypes on people, which isn’t right, and stereotypes should be banned because people should be permitted to just be themselves, and that just doesn’t mean gay men and gay culture, but everyone.
And someone in your world has told you at some point that you can’t be this or you can’t be that, and I’m not proposing you rebel, I’m just inviting you to do as you want so long as it’s not harming someone else because everyone needs to pave their own way in the world. Yes, some gay men are racy, sexually active and over the top, but then some gay men are also quiet wallflowers, happily monogamous, dedicated parents, ambitious CEO’s and creatively gifted people without being ostentatious.
There is no way to be gay than there is to be a teenager or grown up, and whoever you are you have to embrace who you are, and a gay best friend is a pretty important thing to have because every girl or woman deserves to have a friend she can trust to love her unreservedly.