GESTAPO-LIKE Press Officer

Labour Leader Sir Keir Starmer paid a visit to Basildon, Essex, so that he could discuss regeneration plans of the town centre.

But when a Gestapo like Press Officer approached a man, we’ll call him Mr X filming in Basildon Town Centre, the Press Officer said that he could not film. Mr X said that he was a free man and that he was the public, and that he had rights as a British citizen, and that they could not encroach on them.

The Press Officer said that if Mr X wanted to do an interview, but Mr X replied that he wasn’t looking to do an interview, and when the Press Officer asked where Mr X was going to put the footage, Mr X said it was none of his business.

The Press Officer said that they have a press office that requires people to be accredited, in which Mr X said that they didn’t have to be accredited, and the Press Officer said that they did, but Mr X said that he didn’t need to be accredited because he was free.

The Press Officer said that he was a Press Officer and that he could tell Mr X that they did require him to be accredited.

Mr X asked the Press Officer who he worked for, in which the Press Officer said the Labour Party.

The man said: “Really, so what you really mean is you’re a communist”, and that he didn’t like what Mr X was doing.

Mr X said that the Press Officer had no power over him, he could do what he wanted and he didn’t have to ask for his permission.

The Press Officer then said he was asking Mr X what he was doing and Mr X replied that it was none of his business.

Again the Press Officer asked what Mr X was doing, in which Mr X asked the Press Officer if he’d been to the doctors lately, and when was the last time he’d made love to his wife, in which the Press Officer said it wasn’t relevant and Mr X said well then he could see where he was coming from, and the Press Officer said it was his job.

Mr X said that his job had nothing to do with him, and that they had nothing to do with each other, and that the Press Officer had no power over him and then told him to go away.

Mr X then said that he’d been cordial with the Press Officer, but that when Mr X poked his nose into his business he didn’t like it, so why was he poking his nose into his? And Mr X said that he was going to take his video and do what he wanted with it and that there was nothing the Press Officer could do about it.

The Press Officer then said that any interviews he wanted to do… and Mr X butted in and said he didn’t want to do an interview and that he wasn’t interested in interviewing communists.

The Press Officer then left the man alone and another man came over to Mr X and presented himself as the Protection Officer, saying that he knew the man’s rights but that he had a job to do, and that clearly he wanted to video Sir Keir Starmer which he couldn’t prevent him from doing.

Mr X then said it was pure opportunity, and that he didn’t know that Sir Keir Starmer was going to be there and then Mr X moved away slightly and continued recording.

Sir Keir Starmer was being filmed outside hairstylists called ‘Ministry’ which is located near the centre of Basildon Town Centre, where Sir Keir Starmer was inside, although from the outside it couldn’t be seen what was going on in there – possibly he was having a haircut, although not sure why the shop was even open as we’re in lockdown.

Finally, Sir Keir Starmer emerged from the shop with his assembly of Gestapo like protection team and accredited reporters following them where they took a tour around the town centre.