An expectant woman was advised to leave her husband after he flew into a drunken frenzy, breaking a glass and damaging the television.
The British woman took to parenting forum Mumsnet to explain how her spouse, who she’s been with for seven years, returned home from a night out with mates extremely inebriated and fell asleep, then awoke soon afterwards in a violent temper.
The woman wrote that there was a glass in the sink which he attempted to clean up and that she told him to leave it and that he should go back to bed. He then threw the glass as hard as possible at the kitchen surface and it went everywhere, and that a bit narrowly missed her eye, and that he was so furious, apparently for no reason.
She said that he then pulled a picture off the wall in the spare bedroom and used it to smash up the TV and that she was begging him to stop. There was glass everywhere again, and that the dog was scared and so was she.
She added that she was in shock and that it wasn’t like him at all. He’s not a violent person.
Fellow Mumsnet users urged her to leave the relationship, saying it could be the start of domestic violence.
One posted: ‘Has he ever smashed things before? This can’t be the first occurrence as it’s quite an escalation from nothing to smashing the TV?
‘How long have you been together? Honestly, I’d leave, I have had this and stayed thinking he’d get better, he didn’t.’
Another commented on the fact that Violet was ‘newly pregnant’, and wrote: ‘And there it is. You’re pregnant. You know that most domestic violence starts during the victim’s pregnancy don’t you?’
‘Over a third of domestic violence starts or gets worse when a woman is pregnant. 15 per cent of women report violence during their pregnancy. 40-60 per cent of women experiencing domestic violence are abused while pregnant.’
A third noted that previously being a loving man doesn’t make this behaviour acceptable: ‘He is a violent person. He’s been violent. Does he have a drinking problem?
‘If you aren’t prepared to call the police or leave him immediately then you must look very carefully at his response when he wakes and sees what he has done. If he is appalled and commits to never drinking excessively again including getting professional help then there may be less risk of this happening again. But if he minimises or blames then it’s over.’
It’s relatively common for a violent partner to start the abuse when a woman is pregnant, and sometimes leaving is the only choice, but then I suppose it depends on if he wanted the child or not or if he’s feeling trapped and betrayed.
Sometimes it’s because the man feels insecure now that his partner is pregnant and he feels helpless.
If this guy is a decent man he will leave and remove himself for the safety and protection of the woman and his unborn child, making sure that his partner is safe, emotionally and financially supported and step back completely whilst he addresses his problems with experienced help, and anything less than that exposes his complete absence of credibility.
However, we don’t know the circumstances, where he was and what kind of company he was in, and it could be that his drink was spiked, but he should still leave whilst he finds out what his issues are.
Sadly I had a friend whose partner went to a party and he came back and smashed up several things. She called the police and he spent the night in the cells. He’d never been violent before. The police brought him back the next day. He was going to leave the family home because of what he’d done, but the police said they believe his drink had been spiked. They talked it out and he stayed but was extremely careful when he went out for a drink and kept his drink with him all the time. It never happened again.
Could he have been on any other drugs or other things that she doesn’t know about? Perhaps money worries, or that he’s not happy about the child or their relationship. His actions shouldn’t be forgiven, but when someone acts like this, especially if they’re not usually a violent person, it could be a build-up of issues that he can’t cope with.