A recent study found that some social renters had been driven to sleeping on balconies and in gardens, or using makeshift solutions like taping damp sheets to windows.
These flats are so bloody hot it’s basically a slow cooker with rent — and if the council thinks that’s acceptable, they can go round and sit in it themselves until their knickers melt.
Across the UK, it’s hitting 38 bloody degrees, and half the poor sods in social housing can’t even cool their flats — it’s like being slow‑roasted by the council.
Liam Russell’s stuck in a third‑storey flat with three miserable little windows — it’s so hot in there I’m amazed he hasn’t basted himself like a Christmas turkey.
In January, the occupational therapist literally wrote that the heat was a major factor in Liam’s autism and sensory needs, and Hyde still ignored it. Honestly, that’s the sort of nonsense that makes me want to march down there and shout until someone’s trousers catch fire.
He says it’s unbearable even in winter — the flat feels like the heating’s on, the sun blasts straight into the bedroom and front room, and with no windows in the kitchen, bathroom or hallway there’s not a single draught; honestly, it’s like Hyde has put him in a bloody Tupperware.
He works night shifts and can’t sleep during the day because the flat’s hotter than Satan’s sauna, and even though it’s affecting him, his girlfriend, and the two poor dogs, Hyde still hasn’t lifted a finger.
Citizens Advice now says that poorly designed homes are basically heat traps, and people can’t afford air‑con, so everyone’s left feeling helpless — honestly, it’s like the country’s been slow‑cooked and told to just get on with it.
Citizens Advice found that 11 per cent of social renters are stuck in homes that are always uncomfortably warm, causing real physical distress, and some are so desperate they’re sleeping on balconies or taping damp sheets to the windows — it’s like Britain’s turned into a budget sauna run by people who’ve never broken a sweat in their lives.
And now 30 per cent of people say they’ve actually lost money because of the heat — higher bills just to stop themselves from frying — honestly, it’s daylight robbery with a side of sunstroke.
They’re saying 1.59 million children live in homes that get uncomfortably hot — nearly two million kids roasting in flats that feel like someone’s left the oven door open; it’s disgraceful. I’d like to grab whoever’s responsible and shake them until their clipboard rattles.
And people’s comments have become pure theatre — you’ve got folks declaring their flats are hotter than Hades, swooning like Victorian heroines, taping damp sheets to the windows as if they’re auditioning for Les Mis, and sleeping on balconies like tragic Shakespearean lovers — all while the housing providers sit there pretending nothing’s amiss. It’s a national farce, and not even a good one.
THE MONTHLY MOSQUITO 