When You’re In The Gray Zone Of Being Suicidal


When a person is suicidal, it’s not always what people imagine. Being suicidal doesn’t suggest that they have a plan to hurt themselves. Nevertheless, it can still indicate that you feel suicidal, and for some people, it can be a permanent burden.

People consider things like suicide in such black or white terms. Nonetheless, much like all else, we are so keen to place it into categories, and for some being suicidal plunges into a shaded area.

People who are suicidal can be having the greatest day of their lives, but yet, the suicidal feelings will hover. They don’t have to be in a bad frame of mind to be suicidal, and they will still have those feelings even if they are surrounded by the people they love, or even if they are doing anything that they are enthusiastic about.

They arouse most mornings thinking they’d be better off dead but might be quickly interrupted by a family member or friend, but they still feel it, but try not to give power to it. During the day they are confronted with trials that immediately transform their mind.

Either the suicidal feelings get louder, or they don’t. Occasionally, being suicidal is different than suicidal feelings. It’s an exact feeling. The feeling that you have an itch you can’t scratch, that a dark cloud is covering you. It’s fear and panic, it’s a diverse state.

You’re dying, there’s no air, and coming down from that feeling takes so long you believe it’s futile. You have blinders on and you don’t know what’s going to transpire next. You just have to force through.
And while this reaction is happening, you go through your day, as normal as you can, without feeding the feeling.

Some days are worse than others when you’re not feeling great, and you wake up believing that your family is better off without you. The way people feel isn’t a representation of reality. They know they have something to live for, and they know everything will get better.

They know the feeling will pass.

Shadowy figure trapped behind glass

People with a mental disorder live in obscure areas and gray regions. It’s not something that shuts off and on, it comes in waves, it climaxes and it disappears. However, these reactions are never gone.

They wish more than anything in this world that they would die. No one who hasn’t experience suicide will understand the emotions, it’s difficult to describe to other people, that each and every day, even if everything is great, they still feel suicidal.

Being suicidal is not the same thing as just wanting to die. Of course, if you’re suicidal, you do want to die or, more accurately, to end your misery through death but, if you really want to die, you may not be actively self-destructive. Wanting to die and being suicidal are both dangerous and serious, but they are not the same.

Wanting to die is passive and being suicidal is active. Therefore, being suicidal is considerably more serious. Not to say that a passive desire to die can’t harm you, it can, but being actively suicidal is more of an emergency situation.

The distinction between suicidality and wanting to die? The difference is how a person expresses their emotions. For instance, when you just want to die, you don’t believe that you’re in immediate danger, but you know the feeling and understanding pattern could be a stepping stone to a full-blown suicidality, so need to deal with it and certainly not overlook it.

If on the other hand, you’re actively suicidal, that’s the time when a suicide safety plan needs to be put into place and even a trip to the hospital may need to be arranged and both cases must be identified and dealt with, it’s essential to understand the distinction between a pressing dilemma and a crisis state.

Regardless, if you are feeling both or one of these things, you need to know the treatment benefits. That might be speaking to your therapist or doctor, but unquestionably, speak to an expert. Hopefully, you can successfully talk about your particular situation and your professional can evaluate your current risk for harm and get you the relief that you require.

If you think you may harm yourself or somebody else, call emergency services, if it comes down to your life or a three digit number, your life wins every time. That is what emergency workers are there for.

Everybody feels down at times. The breakup of a relationship or a poor grade can lead to a low state. Sometimes depression comes on for no obvious cause. Is there any distinction between these shifting feelings and what is called depression?

Anybody who has encountered an event of depression would probably respond with a yes. Depression, versus normal sadness, is defined by prolonged and profound moods of sadness and the appearance of specific characteristic manifestations.

This difference is significant since in severe cases, depression can be life threatening, with suicide as a potential result. Depressed people can further fail to live up to their potential, doing badly in school and staying on the social perimeters.

Depression is often overlooked or untreated, the condition usually stops people from taking measures to help themselves. This is sad, as adequate relief is available. Yet, countless professionals get it wrong.

You start off by feeling terrible, and it’s just getting worse. You can’t concentrate, or sleep properly and your appetite has diminished. You feel low-spirited, anxious, weepy and completely worthless. Everybody, even your canine, seems to sense your depression, your doctor has passed it off as a virus.

Diagnosing depression isn’t as simple as you might imagine and it’s as much a dilemma for the doctor as it is the sufferer.

If you have a past history of depression then those problems probably won’t apply to you. In fact, a potential problem, in this case, is that those somewhat obscure physical manifestations that may indicate an illness are wrongly seen as signs of depression.

This is much truer if you don’t present with a temperature or rash or some other obvious physical symptoms. Nevertheless, the focus of this is more towards people who have no prior history of depression.

From the perspective of the patient, it isn’t at all unusual for them to miss the depression objective altogether. A number of the manifestations of depression appear very physical in nature and even if they aren’t we seem hard-wired to look for solutions for the way we feel in a physical form.

Anybody who has experienced, say, the flu or a virus will know how it pulls your motivation and spirits into your boots. It stands to reason that if you can’t recognize an obvious reason for changes in your emotional mood, you’ll begin to look within yourself.

So, you get yourself off for a consultation. You wait and finally, you get your 10 minutes or so. You tell the doctor how you feel. They take your blood pressure, question whether you’ve been feverish, question how long you’ve felt like this, how it’s affecting your work and everyday life.

It seems like they are on to something. Then they state the obvious, something like you must be a little run down, or, that you might need a rest, then perhaps they might take a blood sample, and before you know it you’re thanking them and traveling home.

At home, you think on what’s transpired. Perhaps you’re relieved that your symptoms weren’t recognized as a warning of some unfortunate condition. Maybe you feel a little better because you’ve managed to see a health professional and say things previously unsaid? Or maybe you feel frustrated because the very thing you were conscious of, your mood, appears to have been overlooked and you feel no better.

The chance is that your doctor has comparatively limited practice in identifying and treating depression. Well over a quarter of patients seeing their family doctor will experience some form of depression, anxiety or both, and despite your doctor’s professional training, the role of personal opinions could still have some bearing in the way your symptoms are seen or acknowledged.

Now we factor the patient into the equation. With no previous history of depression, they have given a menu of reasonably common manifestations that could compare as much to depression as to some viral ailment, or other probabilities like thyroid deficiency, hormonal upsets, iron deficiencies and so on.


Quite appropriately, the doctor has taken a blood specimen and sent it for examination. This will serve to rule out likely physical causes for signs of depression. Maybe where the system sometimes disappoints is the presumption that in determining a physical condition, the mood will lift.

It may, but then again what’s preventing a patient with depression further having a physical problem? In such circumstances, the depressive manifestations may be rejected as a kind of collateral damage rather than as manifestations in their own right that need treating.

There are many ways for a doctor to screen for depression but expert opinion is still a powerful force that can work for or against the patient. Nevertheless, the use of standardized questionnaire methods is more popular now.

The Hamilton Rating Scale for Depression (HRSD), for instance, is supposed to be receptive to differences in the severity of depression. This indicates once a determination of depression is made and treatment starts, the HRSD can further lead to the effectiveness of therapy.


Tools such as this and the popular Beck Depression Inventory, which shows the severity of depression, all have their place. Ultimately their use comes down somewhat to the preference of the doctor to apply them and the information given to the doctor by the patient that may influence them.

Some doctors have a finely tuned understanding towards mental illness whilst others don’t seem to or have not as yet acquired the skills, and as patients, we have no real internal tool that states, this is depression, so, therefore, it isn’t so shocking that the physical manifestations seem to take precedence.

After all, countless people communicate with their doctor because of their physical manifestations, not the psychological one’s that accompany them.

Hence, the evaluation of depression isn’t fundamentally clear-cut and can require a little trial and error until a resolution is reached. Nevertheless, many people believe that their psychological manifestations are being ignored, maybe since they display with both physical and emotional manifestations, therefore they must speak out, or even contemplate changing their doctor.

Doctors can be pretty oblivious to their patient’s feelings, and frequently the patient gets overlooked since the doctor thinks that they know enough to make a judgment, however, that is nonsense and complete drivel because it is the patient that is suffering, and they know their manifestations better than anyone else.

Numerous people go into their doctors with an ailment that requires consideration, and they get told they are depressed when really are not, but they can also go to their doctor with depression and their doctor will just brush it off.

If a person goes to their doctor because they feel ill, then obviously there is a reason they feel this way, it could be because they are depressed, or that they simply feel sick, and any sensation of not being well should be examined, not merely swept under the rug because the doctor just does not have the time or tolerance to dispense with it.

How doctors warrant sending their patients home with a pill for depression is beyond me, particularly when you’ve gone in there feeling like you’ve been run over by a truck, and I know that a doctor’s surgery can get really congested and that every consultation a doctor has with his patient is timed, but actually that’s just crossing the line.

Doctor’s might not be able to ridicule the patient, but they can unquestionably ridicule their illness and sprinkle the patient with despair because they can’t get anyone to listen, particularly their doctor who should be the one supporting to help them.

It appears these days that we can scream as much as we like, but we are never heard or taken seriously, whilst other people whisper in the darkness stating that the person is not genuinely sick, they are just pretending.

People with depression don’t fake it and doctors should conduct themselves in the proper way when dealing with a patient that has depression. The point where a patient goes to their doctor and says they are depressed, sirens should be sounding in that doctor’s eardrum.

I don’t think any of us want to be depressed. Depression is more than just feeling miserable or fed up for a few days. Most people go through phases of feeling down, but when you’re depressed you feel persistently down for weeks or months, rather than merely a few days.

Some people believe depression is a minor thing and not a legitimate health condition. They’re wrong, it is a genuine illness with genuine manifestations. Depression isn’t a mark of vulnerability or something you can snap out of by pulling yourself together.

The good news is that with the right approach and help, most people with depression can make a full recovery. Depression affects people in many ways and can create a broad assortment of symptoms. They range from constant feelings of sadness and hopelessness to losing enthusiasm in the things you used to enjoy and feeling quite teary.

Many people with depression further have manifestations of stress. There can be physical manifestations too, such as feeling constantly worn out, sleeping badly, having no appetite or sex drive, and many twinges and pangs.

The symptoms of depression scale from moderate to severe. At its mildest, you can just feel persistently low in vitality, whilst severe depression can make you feel suicidal, that life is no longer worth living.

Most people encounter feelings of fear, grief or stress throughout hard times. A low frame of mind may get better following a brief time, rather than being a sign of depression. It’s important to seek assistance from your GP if you believe you may be depressed.

Many people wait a long time prior to asking for advice for depression, but it’s best not to delay. The earlier you consult a doctor, the sooner you can be on the way to recovery. Occasionally there’s a trigger for depression. Life-changing events, such as death, losing your job or even having a child, can bring it on.

People with a family past of depression are more prone to encounter it themselves. Nevertheless, you can further become depressed for no apparent reason. Depression is somewhat prevalent, afflicting nearly one in 10 people at some time throughout their life. It affects men and women, young and old.

Investigations have revealed that approximately 4% of children aged five to 16 in the United Kingdom are anxious or depressed. Medication for depression can require a blend of lifestyle modifications, talking treatments, and medication. Your suggested treatment will be based on if you have moderate, mild or severe depression.

If you have moderate depression, your doctor may recommend waiting to see if it changes on its own, whilst watching your progress. This is perceived as watchful waiting. They may further recommend lifestyle measures such as exercise and self-help clubs.


Talking treatments, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), are usually applied for mild depression that isn’t changing, or moderate depression. Antidepressants are also sometimes prescribed.

For mild to severe depression, a mixture of talking therapy and antidepressants is frequently prescribed. If you have severe depression, you may be assigned to a professional mental health unit for intensive specialist talking treatments and prescribed medication.

Many people with depression benefit by making lifestyle adjustments, such as getting more exercise, cutting down on alcohol, giving up smoking and eating healthily.

Published by Angela Lloyd

My vision on life is pretty broad, therefore I like to address specific subjects that intrigue me. Therefore I really appreciate the world of politics, though I have no actual views on who I will vote for, that I will not tell you, so please do not ask! I am like an observation station when it comes to writing, and I simply take the news and make it my own. I have no expectations, I simply love to write, and I know this seems really odd, but I don't get paid for it, I really like what I do and since I am never under any pressure, I constantly find that I write much better, rather than being blanketed under masses of paperwork and articles that I am on a deadline to complete. The chances are, that whilst all other journalists are out there, ripping their hair out, attempting to get their articles completed, I'm simply rambling along at my convenience creating my perfect piece. I guess it must look pretty unpleasant to some of you that I work for nothing, perhaps even brutal. Perhaps I have an obvious disregard for authority, I have no idea, but I would sooner be working for myself, than under somebody else, excuse the pun! Small I maybe, but substantial I will become, eventually. My desk is the most chaotic mess, though surprisingly I know where everything is, and I think that I would be quite unsuited for a desk job. My views on matters vary and I am extremely open-minded to the stuff that I write about, but what I write about is the truth and getting it out there, because the people must be acquainted. Though I am quite entertained by what goes on in the world. My spotlight is mostly to do with politics, though I do write other material as well, but it's essentially politics that I am involved in, and I tend to concentrate my attention on that, however, information is essential. If you have information the possibilities are endless because you are only limited by your own imagination...

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: