After her only son passed away, a British mother without a fatal condition is going to Switzerland to end her life at an assisted dying facility.
Wendy Duffy, 56, a former care worker from the West Midlands, has paid £10,000 to end her life at Pegasos, a Swiss assisted dying clinic, after losing her son Marcus, 23, four years ago. Despite years of therapy and antidepressants, she has been unable to come to terms with his death.
Speaking just days before her death, Wendy said, “I won’t change my mind. I know it’s hard for you, sweetheart. It will be hard for everyone. But I want to die, and that’s what I’m going to do. And I’ll have a smile on my face when I do, so please be happy for me. My life; my choice.” She added: “I can’t wait.”
In an interview with Daily Mail journalist Jenny Johnson, Wendy told how she lost Marcus in harrowing circumstances four years ago. He had fallen asleep on the sofa while eating a sandwich, hungover after a heavy night out. Soon after, she was faced with every parent’s worst nightmare.
“He was purple,” she said. “I thought, ‘It’s his heart.”
Wendy, who is medically trained, got Marcus to the floor and started CPR, calling for help. Paramedics came and rushed him to the hospital, where the worst news came: half a cherry tomato had been discovered lodged in his windpipe. It had taken specialist equipment to remove it.
Wendy sat with him for five days before his life support was switched off. His organs were donated for transplant. She said, “Afterwards, I got a letter from the man who got his heart. He said that thanks to Marcus, he was able to play with his kids again,” she said. Another recipient was a four-year-old child. “That was a comfort, but it also ripped at me.”
Every day, she went to the funeral home to spend time with her son while listening to his Spotify playlist.
“In the funeral home, I went in every day, and just sat with him, playing through his Spotify list. I broke when I saw him in there. My boy, on a metal table. You can’t come back from that, you know. That’s when I died too, inside. I’m not the same person now as I was. I used to feel things. I don’t care about anything any more.”
It is her choice to end her life. If you have never lost a child, you wouldn’t understand.
Everybody loses someone at some point in their life, but certain losses are irreversible, and everyone handles sorrow differently.
Nothing was going to bring back this woman’s son, and depression isn’t fleeting; it’s a lifelong illness, and for some people, the black dog is an enduring daily visitor.
Regardless of the circumstances, no one else has the authority to dictate to someone what they can do with their body or life since each individual is unique.
Sadly, pain is part of life. It’s called the human condition. I guess that’s why people find religion to find a way of coping, but this decision that this lady has come to is rational to her, but perhaps not so rational to others. She feels that she can’t work past her pain. It’s her decision, but I fear it will leave terrible scars for those left behind.
THE MONTHLY MOSQUITO 