‘I’m Not Going Anywhere’

It appears that Keir Starmer’s prospects of leading his party into the next election are dwindling due to growing calls for his resignation.

Additionally, social media users are responding to Sir Keir’s premiership collapsing by posting several humorous memes that mock the circumstance.

Some likened his situation to the Black Knight from Monty Python, a character who refuses to let King Arthur pass despite having all his limbs chopped off.

Others recalled the famous line ‘Infamy, infamy, they’ve all got it in for me’, spoken by Kenneth Williams as Julius Caesar in the 1964 comedy film Carry On Cleo.

There was a meme of Hugh Grant as the PM in Love Actually, captioned: ‘Centre Left Labour backbenchers reveal their choice to replace Starmer as Prime Minister.’

Another posted an image of Steve McClaren on Sky Sports News, quipping that the former England manager was saying ‘he doesn’t think the PM’s going anywhere’. 

In an address meant to set out Labour’s response to last week’s catastrophic local election results, Sir Keir promised to carry on and prove his doubters wrong.

But the address triggered an avalanche of Labour backbenchers publicly calling for the Prime Minister to go, including several junior ministerial aides who resigned in response.

A total of 80 Labour MPs are understood to have signed a letter from former minister Catherine West urging Sir Keir to set out a timetable for his resignation, with most of them having publicly expressed their loss of confidence in his leadership.

In a sign that he could be planning to dig in, Downing Street announced the appointment of six new ministerial aides last night to replace those who had resigned.

But while some backbenchers came out to back the Prime Minister, reports suggested Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood had privately spoken with Sir Keir and advised him to consider his position.

Other senior ministers are said to have spoken with the Prime Minister about his fate before a scheduled Cabinet meeting this morning, intended to focus on the situation in the Middle East.

At least, if nothing else, we can have a laugh because we haven’t been able to have a laugh since this delusional despot, who seems to believe his own lies and stupidity, arrived, and has been such a daily disaster ever since.

The memes were amusing, but the real joke is that the world is laughing at us, not with us. Sadly, his replacement won’t be laughing either because all the harm that Keir Starmer has done will be paid forward to the next sitting government.

Nobody in Labour actually has any idea about real life, and what it actually means to be working class. I hate to point this out to them, but to be working class, you have to actually do some work, you know, hard graft – get your fingers at least a little bit dirty. The only thing these people know about is sipping Champagne and scratching their backsides; that’s the only dirt they will get under their fingernails.

I will definitely be delighted to see the back of Starmer, but when I think about the bunch of incompetents waiting to take over, my heart sinks. Talk about ‘out of the frying pan into the fire’, there’s not a single trustworthy person amongst them, and it mangles my mind that the people who voted for them truly believed that they were capable of running a country.

In the immortal words of Gloria Gaynor: “Go on now, go, walk out the door Just turn around now, ’cause you’re not welcome anymore.’