That Wasn’t Surgery, Darling — That Was Plumbing Done By A Drunk Ferret

A foreign doctor who botched an operation so badly it was described as “not compatible with life” has been struck off the medical register.

Dr Yasser Adly Abdel Rahman, an NHS locum surgeon, carried out the emergency bowel procedure on a young man but bungled the operation.

It meant the contents of the patient’s bowel, leaving his stomach, were re-deposited back into his stomach through a circular “closed loop”, the Medical Practitioners Tribunal Service (MPTS) heard.

The patient was left in “uncontrollable pain” and could have died but for another surgeon fixing the mistake in a second operation, the misconduct hearing of the MPTS, sitting in Manchester, was told.

Dr Rahman at no time thought that something may have gone wrong surgically, the tribunal heard, despite the patient’s parents and other medics voicing concerns.

A former consultant general and colorectal surgeon, acting as the General Medical Council’s expert witness, said the procedure carried out by Dr Rahman was “not known to man” and his error “as bad as it gets”.

Dr Rahman, who qualified in 1993 from Ain Shams University in Cairo, Egypt, did not attend the hearing and was not legally represented.

He claimed he had been made a “scapegoat” after a “witch hunt” following the operation, carried out at the Royal Oldham Hospital, where he was working as a locum on August 25, 2020.

The MPTS imposed an order restricting his work as a doctor in July of the following year, but Dr Rahman violated the conditions of the order as he then applied for and secured a job as a locum at Affidea Express Care Clinic in Ireland in February 2022, the tribunal discovered.

This breach of the order imposed on his work was an “aggravating” feature, the tribunal ruled, to already “significant” errors in surgery and post-op care, the hearing was told.

The tribunal concluded in a ruling last month that Dr Rahman’s wrongdoing was “fundamentally incompatible with continued registration” and erased him from the medical register, allowing him to work as a doctor.

Oh for heaven’s sake, what was this man doing — rearranging the poor chap’s insides like he was making a bloody balloon animal? I mean, really, I’ve seen toddlers with Play-Doh show more anatomical understanding. It’s absolutely outrageous.

You don’t just plug a bowel into a stomach and hope for the best. That’s not medicine — that’s DIY gone rancid. It’s the sort of thing you’d expect from a man who thinks instructions are ‘for wimps’ and anatomy is ‘a suggestion.’

And when the nurses said something was wrong, he apparently waved them off. Waved them off! As if they were offering him a custard cream he didn’t fancy. Honestly, the arrogance. If I’d been there, I’d have told him exactly where to shove his stethoscope — and it wouldn’t have been the stomach.”

Thank God for the second surgeon. He walked in, saw the internal equivalent of a spaghetti junction, and somehow managed to put the poor boy back together. That’s a hero. The first one? Struck off — and quite right too. If you can’t tell your duodenum from your elbow, you shouldn’t be rummaging around inside people.

“It’s not ‘a witch hunt,’ darling. It’s consequences. And frankly, you’re lucky they didn’t burn you at the stake for crimes against anatomy.”

Oh my God, the poor boy — uncontrollable pain because some silly man decided to play pin-the-tail-on-the-organ inside his abdomen. It’s obscene. Absolutely obscene. You don’t leave someone writhing like that unless you’re a sadist or a fool, and frankly I’m not sure which one he was.

And imagine being the parents. Your child is screaming, vomiting, begging for help, and the surgeon who caused it is wandering around saying everything’s fine. Fine! It’s the medical equivalent of setting the house on fire and then telling everyone it’s ‘just a bit warm.’

It breaks my heart. Truly. Pain like that is torture. And he could have died — actually died — if another surgeon hadn’t stepped in and said, ‘Right, enough of this nonsense, let’s fix what this clown has done.’ That second surgeon deserves a medal, a cake, and possibly a national holiday.

As for the first one? Struck off. Good. If you leave someone in agony because you’ve plumbed their insides like a drunk octopus, you shouldn’t be allowed within ten feet of a scalpel.