I pay income tax on what I earn, VAT on what I spend, fuel duty on driving to spend it, Council Tax for having somewhere to keep it, Capital Gains Tax if it grows, Inheritance Tax if I die, and Stamp Duty if I dare buy a house.
At this point I’m not a taxpayer.
I’m a subscription service.
You earn it, they tax it.
You spend it, they tax it.
You save it, they tax it.
You invest it, they tax it.
You die, and they tax what’s left.
At this point, I’m not building wealth; I’m feeding a Tamagotchi called Government.
Right, that’s it. Stop being selfish.
The Government needs your money.
So get off the sofa, do four hours of overtime every day, work weekends, cancel holidays, and maybe get a second job while you’re at it.
Those taxes won’t pay themselves.
There are hotels to fund, projects to sponsor, initiatives to launch, consultations to commission and reports to write explaining why there’s no money left.
Honestly, some of you act as if your wages belong to you.
They don’t.
You’re just holding them until HMRC comes to collect.
The Government taxes us as much as they can, spends it as fast as they can, then asks for more because apparently we’re not being productive enough.
The Government taxes us as much as they can, spends it as fast as they can, and always, always gets away with it. No questions asked.
Meanwhile, if I’m 17p short on my Council Tax, suddenly I’m Public Enemy No. 1.
Lots of people complain about how much tax they pay.
Nobody has a solution.
Mostly because every solution gets taxed before it leaves the drawing board.
Robbing gits… and what do we get back in return?
A pothole avoidance course, a six-month waiting list, and a letter telling us they’re improving services.
Because governments are greedy, and someone has to pay for their incompetence and expense claims.
Oddly enough, it’s never the people responsible.
We all want a safe country, decent schools, a functioning NHS and a welfare system for those who genuinely need it. We know none of that comes cheap.
What we’re fed up with is feeling like an ATM that’s developed a smoking habit.
Every time we earn, spend, save, invest, buy, sell or breathe too enthusiastically, someone turns up with their hand out.
We don’t need more taxes.
We need better priorities, less waste, and politicians who treat public money like it’s coming out of their own pocket.
Because somehow, no matter how much money goes in, the answer is always:
“There’s no money left… but good news, we’ve found something else to tax.”
