A mother has taken caring for her child to another level. One that we have not seen for an extremely long time.
When she was eight months pregnant and still at work, a colleague had given her a 1950s book entitled ‘Mothercraft.’
‘You’ll need this,’ she muttered, adding, ‘the old way’s the best way.’
I COULDN’T AGREE MORE!
The book is a parenting manual authored by midwife Sister Mary Martin in 1950. Yes, yes, I know, it’s old, but ‘Mothercraft’ champions parents to not bring up entitled brats through a somewhat robust approach, which this expectant mother was onboard with.
These days, mums feel compelled to entertain their little ones with grimy soft plays and hours of ‘brainrot’ screentime. Who actively sidestep any form of conflict in case it causes upset to their little angels, but ‘Mothercraft’ tells you to follow this retro parenting bible for a no-nonsense approach to raising children.
She said that when she was pregnant with her son, now seven, she was bamboozled by the overload of parenting info online, including unsolicited advice on social media from quasi-experts.
The problem is, the main message that we get these days seems to be that we must do everything in our ability not to damage the minds of our young, with this fairly new phenomenon, ‘gentle parenting’, which is widely cultivated into the minds of adults, who would believe it!
There are about 287,000 videos devoted to it on TikTok alone. The soft parenting trend suggests that we should wear our babies around our necks 24/7 like some oversized backpack accessory, rocking them to sleep and holding them while they sleep. No wonder we have children who can’t even wipe their own backside adequately at the age of 5 years old.
Gentle parenting also advocates the acceptance of behaviour that might once have been considered misbehaving, because our child might be having ‘big feelings’.
This simply makes mothers terrified that they are going to turn into a hot mess, and ultimately they do, but ‘Mothercraft’ indefatigably says that ‘Children should be a joy, and never a burden.’
This young lady chose to follow the vintage rules to a T with her young son. The first sensible one was to let her baby nap alone outside, otherwise known in the book as ‘air bathing.’
Popular in Sweden, the concept is based on ‘friluftsliv,’ meaning open-air living, where parents let children sleep in cold conditions outside in prams, believing that fresh air regulates their immune system and keeps them healthy and strong.
In 1950s Britain, mothers would happily stick the pram in the street by the front door.
Living in central London, she felt that this might be dangerous, so when her son was born, she opted for her teeny back patio instead.
The book says that it’s completely normal to be nearby, getting on with your knitting and needlework or, in her case, relaxing on her phone.
Today’s earth mothers may think that rocking their baby to sleep and holding them for hours on end while they sleep is the ultimate connection, but this young mother said ‘That holding the baby while he slept sounded like a mild prison sentence, and how would she get anything done?’
‘Mothercraft’ demonstrates that indulging your child just won’t work unless, of course, there is something physically wrong, such as a wet nappy, and that sleep training is a good solution.
The same goes for the endless breastfeeding. Forget the five-year-old rascal sliding into the marital bed for a midnight chow!
‘Mothercraft’ also recommends weaning at about 12 months old.
This lady followed the book and started sleep training from day one. The rule is to do it in short intervals – check all is well, comfort them, leave the door open, but don’t take them out of the cot or rock them to sleep.
Today’s parents may say sleep training is cruel, but in the words of another parenting guru, Gina Ford, ‘Sleep is taught, not stumbled upon.’
The book’s motto is, ‘Happy mother, happy baby.’ So, for this young lady, that was all she needed to know.
When she first brought her son home, she stuck to the sleep training advice, and within two weeks, he was napping and sleeping well.
The next sound suggestion by ‘Mothercraft’ was to start toilet training your baby in the first few months.
After each feed, she would hold her son above the toilet so he could get used to the feeling of ‘going.’
She said that she did it at a toffy garden party in Notting Hill over a rose bush, which the men were not impressed by, but, as ‘Mothercraft’ suggests, with the wind on their bottom, the baby starts to get the notion of how toileting works, and she’s not alone – comedian Katherine Ryan started toilet training her babies when they were four months old, and suggests that children can be completely toilet trained within a year.
The book suggests that parents need to just listen for sounds indicating they need to go, such as grunts, and when they can sit up, pop them on ‘the chamber with a toy’.
She said that there were plenty of accidents along the way, but her son was swiftly toilet-trained at a year and a half, and going into his toddler years, she saved a fortune on nappies.
Unlike today’s children, when it comes to playing and developing, ‘Mothercraft’ enthuses not to bother with costly toys and eye-wateringly expensive days out.
Instead, ‘Mothercraft’ claims that ‘children ask for love, not riches’.
Boredom is good for them, and for social development, so give them a saucepan, wooden spoon and cardboard box.
She said that she has always let her son be actively bored because it stimulates him to use his imagination and be creative.
Of course, there were few TV screens in the 1950s, but even so, the book firmly states, ‘Do not confuse mothering with spoiling.’
She said that she only lets her son watch documentaries and occasional TV shows like Blue Peter and Horrible Histories, not hours of ADHD-inducing, mind-wilting YouTube.
She has observed babies on the bus watching TikTok, kids arriving at nursery with their iPad, and she’s even witnessed a dad at the doctors who couldn’t wrestle his phone away from his toddler, so just weakly let him watch Coco Melon on full blast.
In today’s consumerist society, too many of us are obsessed with the doctrine that any boredom or confrontation is terrible.
It all begins when you attend those awful National Childbirth Trust (NCT) classes that prospective parents are urged to attend as a way to meet other families nearby, and then they give you a long list of things to buy.
She said that as she wandered around John Lewis with a list chock-full of breast pumps and maternity pads, she referred back to the book, and while she may not have gone as far as ‘Mothercraft’s’ suggestion of using a padded box on a saw-off chair as a first cot, she decided to heed the advice that babies don’t need much.
She tossed the list, got some second-hand bits, and the only splurge she was instructed to make was a large perambulator. The firm favourite was a Silvercross Balmoral pram.
‘Mothercraft’ also advises new mums to let the baby be entertained at home and in the garden. New mums have it shoved down their throats now that as soon as a bundle of joy arrives, they should be signed up for baby massage, sensory classes or yoga.
She said that after her son was born, she joined one of those musical baby classes, but as the mums clanged away on triangles and spoon-fed their babies from pureed pouches, she decided to make a speedy departure.
Instead, she gave her son the ‘Mothercraft’ special: meat such as steak, rabbit, liver, bacon and chicken that should be given two to three times a day, even if the baby has just a few teeth. As a treat, she was advised to give a slice of Madeira cake for pudding.
She said that it was nice to share meal times too, rather than giving her son jars of ultra-processed baby food.
The manual promotes the child fitting into your life… not the other way around, and as soon as they are old enough, they can start setting the table and clearing away.
She said that her son helps set plates and does his bit around the house as per the book, and with a few add-ons, she will ask him to order food in restaurants and to ask for the bill, as well as requesting things in shops, and to always say thank you.
The parenting book suggests that the more independence children have, the more they will be able to handle the world in an ever-changing landscape.
One chapter aptly says, ‘Good impressions have lasting results,’ and how children converse is paramount, and ‘Mothercraft’ suggests other useful tips, including spraying cologne in your child’s hair if it’s tangled, flannel washing in a warm blanket, and that cod liver oil will sort out most ailments.
It has a superabundance of women’s advice, too, such as ‘chest exercises’ to keep the bust from sagging, and soaking your vagina in iodine to keep it super fresh.
She said that many people believe that women did all the work in the 1950s, and that dads just sat there ignorant with a pipe by the fire, but she was pleased to say there was a chapter named ‘Fathercraft’ too.
In the book it explains that dads should send their wives away for a break if they have morning sickness, bring them tea in bed and the pinnacle, ‘that both parents share the responsibilities, as well as the interests and joys in their family’, so that it has a ‘combination that leaves a deep and lasting impression in the minds of their children.’
That’s because authoritative parenting (not to be confused with authoritarian) has been proven, with positive reinforcement, to give children the discipline and skills they need in life, generating higher educational scores and mental well-being.
With today’s ‘gentle parenting’, in numerous cases, this is not the case.
There have been numerous online threads featuring mums frustrated because dad has checked out, and after relying on namby-pampy techniques, they then wonder why they have ended up with ‘anxious, insecure and entitled’ brats.
Such demands include multiple ‘duvet days,’ letting them play Roblox repeatedly and disregarding everyone around them, should they feel like it. This is not a functional, healthy or happy way to live.
Life is about choices, but when they are children, it is not up to them to make big decisions.
By letting them run amok, they will become grown-ups with no motivation, confidence or anything to aspire towards. And you can forget good manners.
If people believe that this woman is mad and that we’ve moved on from the 1950s parenting styles, well, this woman said she doesn’t care.
She said that as parents, we never know how our children will turn out, but she hopes that by putting a moral compass in place, even if her son veers off, he will eventually return to the place of morality, sensibility, kindness, and a strong backbone.
Some of you would have been born into an age that adhered to these principles, but these days we have children who are dummies because they are allowed too many electronic devices, all easily accessible because most young people use them these days. A mother attached to her phone with no communication between parent and child. What a horrible sight to see!
Most mums before the 1990s raised their children the ‘old way’, and most of their children have grown up to be grounded adults. Clearly, there are still some that don’t.
Teachers are now nursemaids, especially in the early years, because of Gen Z parenting. Some kids don’t know how to use cutlery, go to the toilet, take off their coats or play, but the little darlings can work their way around an iPad, though.
And you would be surprised at how many nursery kids have no concept of what a nursery rhyme is.
How this lady is bringing up her son is precisely the way that I was brought up, and my children as well. We were told to go outside and play and to find something to do, and guess what, we did. We all ate the same food at the dinner table, and we had to watch our P’s and Q’s and treat others how we wanted to be treated ourselves. It’s basic, really, but the trouble is, kids these days don’t even know how to wash up.
These days, sending kids to school in nappies, providing them with no cognitive or mental stimulation, and putting them in a corner or on the couch with a gadget are all contributing factors to a variety of physical and mental issues.
I watch people who are 20 years old who have to be told basic things at work. Who are offended by everything and believe that they are entitled, so really, we should salute this woman and others like her. We have no room for soft-touch adolescents here!